Master Says

I know it's not easy for men to practice. They're more easily agitated, more active and more competitive. They have more loving feelings. Everyone thinks women are more affectionate. Actually, men are more affectionate. Their affection is too deep to express. Shedding one or two tears, women will be okay. (Laughter) They pour out their feelings, shed tears, "washing" everything away.

However, men cannot cry. Men can't just say anything. Men are not so talkative. They hide their feelings deep inside -- very deep and concentrated; so they have more sensual desires. Their sensual desires are stronger, because they keep all their feelings deep inside, never let go. Everything is collected there. There are no outlets. That's why it's more difficult for men to practice.

Everywhere it seems that female practitioners are more numerous than male practitioners. Not because they are lousy. Why are men afraid of women? Because their affection is so deep, not because women are dangerous. They are not dangerous, anyhow. I'm a woman. I know it.(Laughter) Nothing dangerous. Just a little bit imprudent. What I mean is, they just say what they want to say then it doesn't matter anymore. If men get angry, their anger lasts longer and is deeper. But it is seldom like this for females.

We should know our shortcomings, and try to improve ourselves. It doesn't matter! It is good to know that. In the future, if you have something on your mind, you can cry. (Laughter) Tell someone that you love her then you will feel better, feel more comfortable. (Master laughs.) That's true. Sometimes if you say it, you feel more comfortable.

Men Can Cry Also

Why do I sometimes have a lot of pressure? Because some things I can't say to just anyone. If I tell you, I will only give you trouble. You won't understand either. I don't have a partner to talk to, (Master laughs) so the pressure is very great sometimes.

However, you shouldn't be like this. Men are human, too. They shouldn't pretend they are "men". No crying, but still "boo-hoo"!(Master mimic the way men cry. Laughter) You won't lose your face if you cry. It makes you feel very comfortable. God has made this "system" so that our inner resentments have an outlet.

Like a water tower, it has a hole. If the tower is too full, it will overflow. The sink has a hole inside,too. If it is too full, even something clogged at the bottom, the water still can run out. Any system is similar to this.

So, if you got something on your mind, you'd better find a friend to talk to, or tell it to the one you like. No matter whether they agree with it or not, just say it. I mean, for example, if you have a very strong feeling toward someone. Just tell her but don't expect that she will accept it. It's okay if she doesn't; you just say it. At least, you will know whether she accepts it or not. If you just keep it inside, it is more troublesome.

When we get angry with someone, we feel too shy to complain. It's the same when you are angry with your wife, just tell her. Sometimes, you misunderstand her. Sometimes, she misunderstands you. If you talk it out then she will understand better. Sometimes she doesn't understand right away, but afterwards she might think it over, "Oh, you're right!" Then the situation will change. You should give it a try.

Most men don't understand themselves, did you know that? They think they are apathetic and have no feelings, because they can't cry and express their feelings. No, men are most affectionate. People normally think men are betrayers - easy to forsake their family. It's not true. It means it's easier for men to leave the family. No! Mostly people who run away from families and leave their children alone are not men, but women. (Master laughs.) Just check the statistics. I didn't check, but that's what I've noticed. Men have more sense of responsibility. Though they don't love their wives very much sometimes, they still stay at home. Most women always squabbled, are agitated and jealous. Their reactions are stronger.

Men's feelings are deeper. Mostly men are the ones who obstruct their wives from practicing. Some women sneak out or run away at times. Their husbands don't even want them to go out. Not because they are dictators, but they love their wives very much. There is no husband who doesn't love his wife. It's rare to find a man who doesn't love his wife lifelong.

Sometimes, they go outside to take a look at other women. Surely, if they see a pretty one, they also fix their eyes on her; but they won't give their love to her so easily. It is always the women who run back to their parents, men don't. Very rarely men run back to their parents, always women. (Laughter) It's not so?(A:Yes!) This means men's emotions are steadier, deeper. He knows what he wants, but women are more imprudent.

You don't have to misunderstand yourself. Emotions are useful. You don't need to ignore or hide them. If we are full of emotions, the power in us will be enormous. Emotions are very useful. We can concentrate them on practicing, and it would be very good. Therefore, most of the masters are men. My destiny is bad. I don't know why. How come a person like me with my female qualities can be a master? It's because I have male qualities, too; not only female.

You, men, should try to understand yourselves more. Do you understand your mind a little bit more now? (A: Yes!) Although I'm not a man, I do understand you better. It is strange! Have you ever understood yourselves very well? You have? (Someone: Not very often!) You wouldn't think you are so affectionate. Those who run back to their parents' home are always women. Women get upset easily(Master laughs), but men are more prudent and steadier. They know they love their wife, why should they run away? They think it's no use running away.

I've seen many wives who have ran away from their families, leaving their children there. Their husbands still brought them up. It's very hard, but they are willing to do that. Originally, we thought that only women could take care of children. It's not true, as long as we have the loving and caring affections, we can do anything.

Just like in the animal world, who teaches them to look after the babies? We human beings can learn this by language. We also have nurseries or many materials for baby-care. Some pregnant women go somewhere to learn baby-care before they give birth; they learn what they should do. But animals don't have this kind of system. They cannot print information books. They can take care of babies very well, too, right? (A: Yes)

Some animals, like the apes, they keep holding their baby in their arms, even after the baby has died. The mother keeps holding the dead baby until the body is putrid. Then, the mother ape herself also gets infected and dies, because they have love for their children.

So, do not think only women can look after children. Why do women look after the children? After giving birth, she thinks it belongs to her. (Master laughs.) Sometimes, she regards her husband as an outsider, the third party, "There's only two of us." (Master laughs.) That's why when a baby is born, the couple's relationship is affected. It is because the wife loves the child so much that she forgets who is the most important person. From day to night she only takes care of the child, and almost forgets her husband.

Another reason is, men usually go out to work. They are very compassionate, thinking their wife is frail after having given birth to the baby. So, they should stay at home while they go out to work very hard to support the family.

Therefore, from ancient time, it has always been women looking after children; not because they are more capable. Most people misunderstand this. I know that it is because men are more compassionate. No wonder most gurus are men.

So, you don't have to despise yourselves. Men's love is not like women's; women are apt to reveal their feelings. They do all the embracing, weeping, wailing, making a lot of noise or something like that. But men have a steadier compassion. It's just very normal, very common and very usual. Even men themselves don't recognize their own compassion, because they originally had it. So they take it for granted.

It is like we, practitioners, don't recognize our greatness either. We only know that we make progress everyday. That's it. We just get used to it. Except when someone talks to us, then we discover that their level is far below ours. Then we realize - practice makes us different. Though we know the difference, we don't feel arrogant.

Similarly, men's compassion is more natural. Because they already had it, they don't feel anything great. When women have a little bit of compassion, they exaggerate, talk a lot, and make it known nationwide. They only do a little good, and everyone knows it. Just like me, I'm worldwide famous, not only nationwide. Everyone knows I have compassion. (Master laughs and audience applauds.) However, even if the whole country knows that, I myself know nothing about it. It's different.

Attaining The Truth With The Spirit Of Sacrifice

So, I think since ancient times, most male practitioners have become gurus. That's for sure. Today, our viewpoints have to change a little bit. We should not always listen to what people say. That's how it is. Fewer women sacrifice themselves and say, "Let me go out to work. You stay at home and look after the children." They think their husband should feed them. Even though some women are not yet married, they have this expectation already. Getting married is being fed by someone, and having someone to rely on, lacking the idea of independence.

It's not all their fault, either. Maybe it's because of the way they think, their weaker bodies by nature, and their more frightened characters. Also, they are brought up to think that a woman should be dependent on a man. So, that is not only women's fault, but the system of the whole world makes it like that also.

Actually, women do have this kind of attitude. They're used to it, perhaps their thinking is more narrow. That's why you don't see a lot of women sacrificing. It's rare for women to have this kind of thinking, "I'll go out to work and let my husband stay at home and play with the kids. He might be happier this way." Even though it is tiresome playing with kids, it's also very comfortable.

So, sometimes we women think that looking after children is such a hard job, and men go out working and are very free; but that's not so. Men go out and work really hard! Sometimes they have to tolerate the boss's temper, the pressures from the job, colleagues' jealousies, and so on. But when we women stay at home taking care of babies, it is very comfortable; because babies are so cute. Looking at them, you already feel very comfortable. Babies are the ones closest to God -- their eyes are so bright; their faces are so innocent; and their skin is so soft; the hands are so cute, so small and so chubby. Every movement they make is so lovely. So, many people like babies. We say that we sacrifice ourselves looking after the children at home, but that is not true. We know taking care of children is a rewarding and fulfilling job.

Very few women leave their children behind and go out to do something for a long time; except, practitioners of the Quan Yin Method, we go away for one or two weeks to attend 7-day retreats. That's different. But if she meditates longer, she will also miss her children; and she won't be able to bear it any longer, because she is used to looking after them. If you men were asked to take care of the children, you would also become very attached like that. They'd like this job. There is no one who doesn't like kids.

So, I think men are more affectionate. That affection is the devotion for sacrifice, not the affection for hugging. Men's love is different. When a man loves someone, he will sacrifice for her to make her happy. Sometimes, he doesn't even have many clothes for himself, but all the money is given to his wife. Then, she buys cosmetics, hundreds of pairs of high-heel shoes and fashionable clothes. He is happy when he sees her happy. He is very delighted and proud when he sees his wife is very satisfied. Therefore, his love is the real love.

Today, I know the difference. Strange! How come I can analyze things like this? (Master and audience laugh.) I'm not a man. (Applause) Maybe I have done the research -- researched inside, by sometimes being close to some men. It is just for my research, studying their actions, studying their states of mind. Then, I can take good care of you men; because I can't always take care of those women. They have enough so I need take care.

They're happy that I'm a woman. 'Master is a woman!' They feel happy and arrogant. So no need to say anything more. But, I feel that you men have been neglected a little bit. I do not know how Shakyamuni Buddha cared for His male students when He was alive. He was very strict. I am a woman, perhaps I have neglected you a little bit. That's why I study so hard. Maybe from studying so hard the answers emerged; just become enlightened.

Therefore, I realized some things today. The thoughts cross my mind very naturally, as soon as I saw you. I didn't do it on purpose, nor did I do any research. Everything is arranged. Do you understand that? (A: Yes, we do.) Your love is very close to a Bohdisattva's. You have the spirit of sacrifice. When you love someone, you like to see them happy. You are willing to do anything that will make them happy. It means you really have the spirit of altruism instead of egoism. When someone's happy, you're happy. This is real love for others. It's called "altruism".

No wonder you get better results when you practice. It is no wonder that most masters are men. That's nothing strange! Furthermore, there is a background influence from society for men to practice, but your love is also an important factor.

Mostly, men go out to work and support the family. Even before they marry, they have to support their parents, family and sisters, too. It is men who have the spirit of sacrifice.

spiritual Practice Can Really Benefit Your Family

Besides, when the country is chaotic, men must go to war. They know that maybe they won't come back, but they still go. They leave their wives, families and parents behind for the country. Even though they're forced to do it sometimes; sometimes, they are willing to go. Although men are destined to do this, it implies that men's spirit of sacrifice is already there. The love is very natural. It is already there. I don't know why most men cannot recognize their virtue.

Very few men tend toward spiritual practice. Maybe it's because they are so responsible. They think that they should work, support the family, take care of parents and sisters...etc. Then they forget the most important thing which is to take care of their souls. If we give our parents and sisters millions and billions of dollars, or properties, it won't be better than our one day's practice. It won't be better than our few minute's, one hour of practice, not to mention one day. One day is too much!

Of course, we should give them a comfortable life if possible. If no one can look after our parents or our sisters, we should perform our duty. If someone can do it for us, we don't need to do the physical caring so much. It would be better for us to take care of their spirit. If we practice, they will get more benefit. Even their material life will be taken of care by the Creator because of our merits.

It is said, "When one attains the Truth, nine generations will be liberated to heaven." Anything the ancients said reveals wisdom from their own experiences. Otherwise, why do people in every country say the same thing? In China, it is said, "When one attains the Truth, nine generations will be liberated to heaven." The same is said in Au Lac and India. In India, they say five generations are liberated. They just say a number, five generations randomly. Five or nine makes no difference.

Great Masters Think Alike

It means there are Truth seekers everywhere, and their attainment of the wisdom is almost the same. That's why they all say the same thing. Great minds think alike. It means people who have great wisdom usually say the same thing. Sometimes, you study the scriptures. Reading the chapter that Jesus said on the Mount Sainai is exactly the same as the Buddhist scriptures about "the way of Bodhisattva". You may compare the Bible and the Koran; they say the same thing. You can also check the Heart Sutra scripture; all the same, nothing different. Shakyamuni didn't make a deal with Jesus. (Laughter) They both didn't plan to say the same thing. They didn't know each other. Also, they were born at different times and in different places. Some people like Confucius, Lao-Tze, Socrates, and other masters from different nations, they all said similar things. It is strange! Sometimes, you read or listen to what I have said, which was not adapted from the scriptures. But afterward I read the scriptures and find, "Ah! It's exactly the same as what the scriptures have said." (Applause) Most things I teach you are from inside. Like today, it is the first time I have talked to you about men's affections, first time in the world. (Applause) Is that not so? (A: Yes.) It is also the first time for me to hear about it. (Laughter) I've never thought about these things. I've never spoken about them before. Today I just thought about it while I was talking to you. It was the first time. I have never heard of these before. It is always said that women are more affectionate. Today, I didn't feel that way.

Most people say men are bad, I don't think so. That's because we human beings are not easily satisfied. Our affection is very deep, especially men's! How can it be so easy to give yourself completely to a woman at first sight? So, we keep part of our affection and only give it a try.(Laughter) When we feel that the partner doesn't suit us, we stop. We try another one to see whether we can give her our whole love or not, but it's still hard to trust anyone. We feel something wrong, and then go find another. It's not that our love is ever-changing, but we haven't found the one we can trust completely, the one we can give our deep and steady love. Is that not so? (A: "Yes!" Applause)

It is not easy to find an ideal partner. Sometimes, someone looks right, but after both of you talk for a while, you find it is a different story. Sometimes, it is still not evident after the conversation. Because it is not easy to express our feeling, so they still misunderstand anyhow.

For example, you ask your love, "Do you like red clothes?" And she says she doesn't like red that much. So, you stop talking. Actually ,you should say that you'd like her to wear red clothes. (Master laughs and audience applauds.) But you don't say it, you don't make it clear. You just ask her whether she likes red clothes or not. Of course, if she says no, then you think she doesn't like it. So, you don't want to force her. Both of you are too polite (Laughter), and you feel unhappy for the sake of this trivial thing. Then, you go out and look for the woman in red. (Laughter) It is so silly! We should say what we want, no matter whether they like it or not. Then discuss it later. Do you know how to express it in the future?(A: "Yes!" Applause)

However, if families are not in harmony, it is also because of men; because you always keep everything inside. You don't try to speak your mind and you don't try hard to protect the affection and marriage. You think it will get better by itself, because you are over-confident. You think that it is enough for you to know that you love your wife, and think that she certainly should know it! You think in this way, but how does she know?

Women have less of a sense of security. Do you know about that? Though you've said it one hundred times, she still doesn't get it. (Laughter) Sometimes, the reason why your wife doesn't treat you well is also your own fault. You don't understand a woman's heart. That's why she always complains. All because she wants you to say you love her, that's all. Nothing more! If you can express that, she'll feel secure. You need not to do anything else.

If Your Marriage Is Unphaay, You Can't Meditate Well

Why do I talk about these things -- marriage and affection? Someone may think that I am over-doing my Master's business. No! If your marriage is unhappy, if you don't get along well with each other, you can't be into samadhi. Your heart is suffering. Everything is a mess. Those unhappy things always trouble you, and you cannot recite the Holy Names, let alone get into samadhi.(Laughter)(Yes!) At that time your wife is more important than Master. (Laughter) I don't blame you for this. It is just a fact. At that time you even throw away the samadhi. (Laughter) You may say, "I don't care about it! I don't want it! I don't want that!" Even though you want it, you cannot get it anyway, because of your bad mood.

I need to learn all these things, so that I am able to teach you. I've learned those already. It's hard to avoid and control them. Of course, for our practitioners, the more we practice, the better we can control our affection; but there are some people who still are affected and suffer, due to human affection. So it is necessary for me to address some so-called mundane affairs to you by the way, because there is no difference between mundane affairs and practice.

No matter who brings us the happiness, when we're in a good mood, we're in nirvana. When we are happy, we're in nirvana, we're in paradise. When we are happy, then we can love anyone, we can forgive anyone, and we are willing to give anything. If we are in a bad mood, we don't like to do anything, we don't want to take any responsibilities. There is no way even if we want to. There is no inspiration. You'll throw everything away, including the world. So we say Buddhist doctrines and the worldly laws work together. That's it! So, you have experienced by yourselves.